The Light That is Never Seen
by Tanlaith
Summary: RE-POSTED:: Gilauriel is a blind Elf with no family, but discovers that she still has three brothers awaiting for her in Lothlorien. :.Chapter VI up.:
1. Prologue

*disclaimer* as I have said many times before, I do not own any of Tolkien's characters, as he is the one who created them.

Prologue

Although it has been said that Elves, being immortal, did not know of sickness or pestilence, Gilauriel proved it wrong.  At a young age, she became deathly ill.  The Elves did no know what it was, so they could do nothing but pray and hope that the young Elf would survive.

            Gilauriel lived in Rivendell at the time and even Lord Elrond, a close friend of her father Eluan, did not have the medicine or power to penetrate the sickness.  A fever struck her, and she was delirious for many days.  During that time her mother Gilaeren and her brothers stayed at her side, never stopping to worry for her.

            The fever broke soon after, but it left Gilauriel blind forever.  Her parents became afraid that they would no longer be able to raise their youngest child, so they left her in the care of Elrond.  Upon the departure of her brothers destined to guard the precious Wood Lothlórien, her mother and father requested that Elrond would never speak of her brothers or her parents to ease the pain of their passing.  She would set out in search of them if she learned of them.

            The next day, Eluan and Gilaeren began their journey West to sail to the Undying Lands.

            Time progressed, and Gilauriel became accustomed to her new surroundings, memorizing exactly where an area in Rivendell would be.  Arwen, the daughter of Elrond grew to be her friend, guiding her around in new places.  Elrohir and Elladan, Arwen's twin brothers, also were kind to her because of her disability.

            Blind though she was, Gilauriel's ocean-green eyes remained unfailingly clear.  Many mistook her as being able to see, and sometimes, to bother her, Elrohir would wave a hand in front of her to check if her sight had miraculously returned.

            And Elrond, seeing that Gilauriel had matured and grown in her years, knew that the time had come for her to know of the secrets hidden from her.


	2. The Truth is Told

Chapter I

'Gilauriel, my father would like you to accompany him for a ride in the woods,' Arwen told her friend one day.

Gilauriel smiled.  'Will you go with me?'

'Elrond said that he only wished for your presence,' Arwen replied sadly.  'But would you like me to accompany you to the stables?'

'I can manage, thank you,' Gilauriel replied, and bade her friend goodbye.

After living in Rivendell for many years, Gilauriel had most of the city mapped in her mind, and could walk almost anywhere from her home unaided.  She had also learned the many strengths an Elf soldier could do, such as horseback riding and archery.  With proper training and patience, Gilauriel had been able to lead a life that was enjoyable to her.

Halfway through the gardens, she ran into someone and fell to the grass.

'Watch where you're going!' scolded a male voice.

'I am very sorry–' she started.

'Can you not see?' the man went further on.

'Novarion!' came another masculine voice.

'Sir.'

Gilauriel felt a strong yet gentle hand help her up.  'I'm sorry, my lady.  I was not looking, I guess.'

'That is all right,' she replied, feeling the sting from Novarion's previous remark.  If on thing in the world caused her more pain than anything else, it would be others mocking her disability in sight.

'Is there anything I can do to make up for it?'

'What is your name?'

'I am Captain Faramir of Gondor.'

'Can you tell me which way is the garden stables?' she asked, nearly slapping herself for asking such a question.  If she was of Rivendell-folk, it was quite obvious that she would know where it was, but since her fall she had lost her direction, and Gilauriel wished more than anything that less knew of her loss.  She worried she would have to tell the man and his partner.

'It's that way.'

In her mind, Gilauriel was in tears.  She was going to have to tell them her secret.

'I-I'm sorry, my lord, but I'm–'

'Gilauriel!'  She breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the familiar voice of Elrohir.  'There you are!  Ada has been looking all ever for you.  Thank you Faramir,' he said to the man, 'for caring my sister.  Come, he is waiting.'  She felt his safe hand slip into hers, leading her away.

'What about those two men?' Gilauriel asked.

'Faramir and his company?  They are just here for protection of our father, for now.'

'He seemed kind.'

'Yes, I know, muinthell-nin, but I think ada would wish it that you remain your secret silent in Faramir and his company's presence.'

Gilauriel nodded silently.

 'Gilauriel.'  She heard Elrond's warm voice, and immediately felt safe in his midst.

Elrohir stopped her in front of her horse Eärendil, named after her grandmother's favourite star, and feeling her way to the saddle she mounted.

'Are you ready?' came Elrond's voice.

Gilauriel nodded.  'Yes.'

'I will see you in time for after noon tea, Elrohir,' the Elven lord said, starting to lead his horse and Gilauriel's away.  Eärendil always followed the leading horse, knowing that his mistress was blind.

'Gilauriel,' Elrond said after awhile, 'time has passed and you have grown to become a wise Elf.  Now is a time where I can tell you the things I have kept from you all these years.

'Be prepared.  Some may be a shock to you.'

She drew breath.  'Go on.'

'You may not remember much from the time before you became blind because you were so young.  Celebrían and I are not your true parents.'

'No,' she whispered sadly, not wanting to believe it.  'Then who are?'

'I have not yet finished my tale.  Another Elf couple, Eluan and Gilaeren, have also cared for you, until you became ill.  Then they left to the West.'

'What you mean to say is I've had four foster parents raise me?' Gilauriel interrupted in disbelief.  'And I've never realised it?'

'Your real mother and father thought it was best that you did not know, but I felt that you may feel shut out from the world, especially now that you cannot see.'

Gilauriel was quiet for awhile.  'What were my real parents like, Ada?'

'Your father was a lord to the King of Gondor's service in his time; a well-respected Man.  Your mother, on the other hand, was a beautiful Elf, a maid to the Lady Galadriel, but they, too passed into the West long ago.  We think that because of this marriage you could not resist sickness.'

Gilauriel did not answer

'It may be hard for you, Morningstar, to hear of this at this age, for you have live quite a joyous life with my family, but take time,' Elrond said.  It still was not time yet to tell her the other half of this tale.  Gilauriel was already pained by this news.

'Ada, thank you so much for telling me this.  It means much to me,' she answered in return.  'I love you.'

To Hands


	3. Hands

Chapter II

Gilauriel and Elrond returned from their afternoon ride, both relatively quiet.  Even Arwen and Elrohir, who were waiting at the stables to meet them, sensed something was wrong.

'Is there something you would like to talk about?' Arwen asked as she guided her friend back to the Last Homely House.

'No,' Gilauriel lied.  'But please inform Ada that I am not going for afternoon tea.'

'But Aragorn and Gandalf will be there.  Ada would prefer it if you would come.'

'No.'

'Gandalf may be able to answer the troubles you have in your mind, if you do not want to tell me about them,' Arwen suggested.

'No, Undomiel, you will not understand,' Gilauriel fought, 'ada told me that he and naneth are not my real parents.'

'O, amin hiraetha,' Arwen answered sorrowfully.  'Where are they then?'

'They departed to the Undying Lands long ago.  Since then I have been in the care of others.'  She looked down, tears beginning to form.

'Muinthell-nin, do not despair.  Ada has provided much for you,' Arwen told her, sitting next to her.  'You ought to be thankful for what he has done.'

'I am, and I always thought of him as my father, but now that he truly is not…'

'Nonsense.  Gilauriel, we will always be your family, so do not think such things.'  Arwen stood up.  'I will not force you to come with me, so you may think in silence.'

Gilauriel laughed lightly.  'I shall see you later.'

Arwen left, and Gilauriel was about to ascend the stairs to her room when she heard a knock on the door.

'Arwen?' she called out.  Instead, a familiar male voice answered.

'It is Faramir.  May I come in?'

She reluctantly opened the door and led the captain in.  'How did you ever know that I lived here?'

He chuckled.  'I have been a friend of your father as of late.  How would I not know?'

'I understand,' she said plainly, remembering Elrohir's words that ada wished that she did not tell him her disability.  'Is there something you want with him?'

'Yes, but I came firstly to apologise of my guard's unruly behaviour.'

Gilauriel smiled, knowing now that the kind man that had helped her up had been Faramir.  'I accept your apology.  Amusingly enough, I did not even realise you were guests of my father until Elrohir told me.  I would have given you more respect.'

'There is no need,' he replied, and laughed.

She listened to his laughter, and laughed too.  Suddenly she felt his hand on hers, nearly giving her a fright.  They felt warm and gentle.  Because she was blind, she could no longer look into a stranger's eyes to tell whether they would be compassionate or not.  Instead, she depended upon feeling their hands to determine their kindness.  It wasn't a perfect way, but it was another alternative, in addition to hearing their voice.

'Where has Lord Elrond gone?' Faramir wanted to know.

'He went to the garden terrace with my brothers and sister to meet Aragorn and Gandalf,' she replied.

'Would you like to come with me to meet them?  Aragorn and the White Wizard are very dear friends of mine, too,' he said.  'Well, Aragorn is my king, after all.'

She shook her head lightly.  'I am not…feeling too well.'

'I hope you will feel better soon, then.  May I come and visit you later?' Faramir asked.

'No; since you are friends with Aragorn and Gandalf, you are more than welcome to attend the welcome feast for them tonight.  After that, we will have a ball, which was really Arwen's request,' Gilauriel said, giving him a wink.

'I will certainly come then,' he replied, returning the wink.  'Goodbye, for now.'

'Goodbye.'  She showed him out the door.  The captain was kind enough to come and apologise to her.  Pushing the thought far from her mind, she once again began to go up the stairs.

To A Purpose in Life


	4. A Purpose in Life

Chapter III

Once Gilauriel had refreshed herself, she wandered to the porch to breathe the free air.  Why did her true parents not keep her?  Why did the previous couple also give her away?  She could only guess that they had left her because of her blindness, but her real parents never knew.  Suddenly Gilauriel felt as though she had no purpose in Middle-earth because of her disability.

She found herself crying.  'Maybe I never should have been born.'

'That is not true,' came a friendly and reassuring voice.

'Gandalf?'

'Yes, child.  Everyone on this Middle-earth has a purpose in their life, whether for good or for evil,' he said gently, touching her shoulder.  'You just have not found your reason to live yet.  Come with me.  We can talk about it if you like, if you like.'  He led her back into the living room.

'Has everyone returned yet?' she asked as he sat her down on a couch.

'No; I came back because Elrond told me you heard of your past, and Arwen and Elrohir felt that something simply wasn't right.' Gandalf chuckled lightly.

'Gandalf, why did my parents abandon me?'

'They did not do that,' he replied.  'Their time here was over; their hearts were begging them to sail to the Undying Lands.'

'And to leave me behind?'

'That would have been the hardest decision they would have made before they departed.  You see, they also did not want to part with you because you had only been with them for but a few months, but they had no choice.  They _had_ to leave their home.  Nothing would satisfy them anymore, save for your innocence.  But they did not want you to grow and see your parents forever unhappy.'

'This I understand now; but, then why would they leave me in the hands of Eluan and Gilaeren?' she pressed.

'They were a notable lord and lady.  Your parents had wanted the best for you, since they could no longer look after you.  But Eluan and Gilaeren's time were ending, too.  That is why they left you in the care of Elrond and Celebrían.  But you still have your three brothers to remember your parents by, do you not?'

'I had brothers?'

'Did Elrond not tell you?' Gandalf asked.

'No.'  She shook her head vigorously.  'Gandalf, please tell me about them!'

'Very well,' he answered, patting her shoulder.  'Your oldest brother, Haldir was a very good role model.  So good, in fact, that your other brothers, Rúmil, who is older than you, and Orophin, who is younger than you, followed his footsteps.  Haldir is now a Marchwarden of Lothloríen, in the favour of the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, while Rúmil and Orophin serve as guards.  I doubt very much that they would have forgotten their sister.'

She smiled.  'When did they leave Rivendell?'

'A few days before Eluan and Gilaeren left West.  We haven't heard of them since, but I am very sure that they would be ever joyful to hear that their sister is thriving and healthy, and almost as strong as they are.  They yearn to see their little Morningstar again.'

She laughed at his words, thinking of her newly heard of brothers.  Would they remember her, should she pursue to Lothloríen to find them?

'I would wish it to meet them again,' Gilauriel replied, nearly choking on her tears, trying hard to remember them.

'There, there,' Gandalf said gingerly.  'As long as your hope remains, you shall meet them again.'

The sound of the door opening as Elrond and his family, as well as Aragorn returning signalled the end of their conversation.  Gilauriel felt Gandalf's presence fade away as he went to Elrond for discussion, and called to Aragorn.

'Elfstone, I am terribly sorry that I did not come to meet you earlier,' she apologised to her brother, bowing her head.

'Dear Morningstar,' he laughed, taking her chin, 'to see your joyful face is enough to fill my stay with happiness.'  She laughed too, and he kissed her brow.

To Old Enough


	5. Old Enough

Chapter IV

            'What did you tell her?' Elrond asked again.

            'I simply told her the matter concerning her brothers,' Gandalf replied calmly.  'My lord, you can't shut her away from the world when she already cannot see.'

            'She already took the news of her parents quite deeply,' the elf lord retorted.  'She should not have to carry two troubles in herself, Gandalf.  She's still a young Elf.'

            'Young indeed.  Gilauriel is most wise beyond her years, persevering much to love her life without her sight.  Think of all the accomplishments she had done that many Elves in Rivendell could not have done.'  The White Wizard sighed.  'I believe that she ought to know more of her past, seemingly since she had forgotten much of it.  She is old enough to make her own decisions, after all.'

            'Yes, I know,' Elrond replied heavily.  'But as she is my youngest child, I take joy in caring for her, because she is still young at heart, unlike Arwen and her brothers, who have matured long ago.  But with this newfound discovery of her childhood, I worry that she will want to see her brothers again.  I do not want her to go.'

            'Because you worry for her, do you not?' Gandalf said gently.  'There is no need to worry.  If she wanted to meet Haldir in Lothloríen you could take her.'

            'I do not have the time to do so, Gandalf,' the Elf-lord said.  'I must stay here to govern Rivendell in my place.'

            The wizard was quiet for a moment.  'Would you trust Faramir and his company to take Gilauriel, then?  He informed me that in a few days he will be departing to Lothloríen.'

            'I suppose I could consider this,' the Elf said thoughtfully.  'But his father was a mad man.  What if he – '

            'Do not frighten yourself, my lord, and besides, that was long ago; his father has long died, and he is under the care of Faramir.  No wrong he will do now.'

            'I shall think about it then, mellon nin.'  And that was that. 

            Elrond stepped out of the room were they had counsel and Gandalf quickly followed.  Gilauriel was talking contently with Aragorn, sharing news between them.  Celebrían had gone with Arwen to prepare for the ball that would later follow from the feast.  The twins had gone for a short ride.

'How are you two faring?' Elrond asked, reaching to touch Gilauriel's shoulder.  'Have you two caught up between each other?'

'Ada, Aragorn –'

'Lord Aragorn, Gilauriel.  Remember your manners,' Elrond reminded gently.

'But he is my 'brother' Ada, why can't I call him simply by name, but by title?'

'She has a point, Ada,' laughed Aragorn.  'Go on and tell him.'

'Aragorn said that his city name Minas Tirith is white.  May we visit it one day?'

Elrond did not answer for a moment.  Clearly the child wanted to _see_ the White City, yet she had not her sight.  Yet she truly believed she could see.  Not wanting to spoil her happiness, he replied, 'We shall see, child.  I, myself, would like to see the White City again, too.'

Aragorn smiled, and said to his sister, 'Go upstairs and prepare for the dance, little one.  Your brother would like you to display your elegance this night.'

Gilauriel smiled.  'And I will.'

To Trust


	6. Trust

Chapter V

That night at the ball Gilauriel sat silently at the side while her family danced.  Though she had learned many of the Elvish skills, dancing was not one of them. 

'Gilauriel?'

'What is it, muinthell?' she asked, recognising the voice.

'Elladan saw that you were not participating in the ball and offered to be your partner.'

'No thank you.  Is Faramir here?'

'O, is that who you wanted to dance with?' Arwen's voice was teasing.

'No, I just want to know.'

'He is here, but why do you ask if you will not dance with him?'

'_Arwen_.' Gilauriel was not going to let her sister get too far with this.

'All right,' she chuckled mischievously.  'I will be going to dance with Aragorn then.'

She nodded and returned to her circle of silence.  After awhile she became uninterested in the music and the halls were becoming quite stuffy, so she slipped out and made her way to the balcony.  Elrond always left the doors to outside open for the guests to go outdoors as they wished.

Gilauriel sat in the elusive darkness for awhile, letting the cool breeze take a hold of her.  It was a wonderful evening.

'Gilauriel?' a voice whispered.

'Yes?' the thought vanished into the night air.  'Who is it?'

'It is just I, Faramir,' the captain laughed lightly.  'What brings you out into the night, instead of dancing with your family?'

'I am quite different from them, actually,' Gilauriel admitted.  'I cannot dance in front of others, really.'

'And you run outside every time your father holds a ball?'

'I try to.'

'You have such a lovely sense of humour, princess.  First you asked who I was when I clearly saw you looking at me, and now you tease me about your shyness in dancing," Faramir said with amusement in his voice.  'You would make a great host in formal parties.'

'I am blind, Faramir,' she replied softly.

There was a short silence.  'I am terribly sorry,' Faramir murmured, placing a hand on hers.  'Really, I am.  I never knew you suffered much.'

'There is no need to feel rueful of me,' Gilauriel responded.  'But please, promise, swear to the Valar you will _never_ tell anyone.  I hold to myself that you will not, that is why I trusted you.  I do not want others to know of this.'

'I swear I will not tell,' the captain pledged her, and she contently nestled her head on his shoulder.

The next morning, Gilauriel woke to her father's touch.

'Morningstar, there is something I must speak to you about,' Elrond said.  She sat up on her bed as he sat down.

'I believe Gandalf revealed more of your family, that is, your brothers thrive in Lothloríen.'

'Yes, _ada_,' she replied.  'What of it?'

'Nothing,' he replied quickly.  'I just wanted to clarify that you now know.'

'You knew, ada,' she guessed.

'Yes I did, Gilauriel,' the Elf-lord sighed, 'but since you took the news regarding your parents so deeply I thought I had better leave this tale for later.'

'Ada, I am not an Elfling anymore,' Gilauriel argued.  'You simply assume that as I am blind I am weak and cannot hold so many emotions at once.  Ada, all my life I thought this was my family, and you tell me you are not my true father.  Naturally I wanted to know if I had siblings as well.'

Elrond did not say anything for awhile.  'Come, breakfast is waiting.  Do not take too long.'  She felt the weight of her bed lighten and she took the little time she had to ponder over her father's words.


	7. Little Sister

_A/N: ok ok¡KI'm sorry I've been changing this hero's name for quite a bit. Legolas to Tuinor, and now Faramir!! I do hope this will be the very last time I change it, because I'm satisfied with it now. But if I should change it AGAIN, please bear with me. If I forget to change Tuinor's name anywhere, please tell me. So, without further ado, here's chapter 6!!_

Chapter VI

After a small breakfast, Gilauriel wandered into the forest nearby her home. Her brothers and sister had warned her if the dangers of the ancient wood, but today, although she had no intention of heeding them, she had tied a small dagger to her, hidden beneath the folds of her dress. As she walked down a warn path, she tried to imagine a much more friendly forest, with the sun shining down on the crowns of the trees, and birds chirping overhead. Her concentration was so great she was not even aware of a faint, ugly squeal left of her.

_The forest is not as perilous as Arwen and the twins had described it to be,_ she thought, almost forgetting the dagger at her side. It was a while before Gilauriel realised her surroundings were deathly quiet.

Suddenly, she felt a large, scaly hand cover her mouth, completely catching her off guard, and a blade was pulsing at her neck. Her skills instinctively took over, and although she had never fought real orcs before, she elbowed him in the face, managing to stumble away from his grasp. She took the time while the orc screeched in pain to unsheathe her dagger and point it to where ever the creature was standing.

While the orc whined in pain, another knife edge touched her nape.

'Challenge us, she-Elf,' an orc hissed. 'Try to kill us all.'

Gilauriel could hear many taunting voices of orcs. Just her luck; she had tripped into an entire band of those hideous things. Why did she bring a small knife, instead of a sword?

The blade edge pressed harder on her flesh. She closed her eyes to try and find where this group was standing. It was impossible to fight blindly. She would die soon enough. Her lessons in sword fighting were not enough. The Elf instructor had been too easy on her.

'Ah well, if you will not fight us, little one,' the same orc answered sneeringly, 'it will not hurt. Just a little ¡V' there was a silence '¡V it will be painless.'

Gilauriel felt the filthy warmth advancing her, and immediately took action. She stabbed at the front of her and felt it enter something. The orc screamed in pain and jumped back to attack her. She felt the orc-blade cut into her flesh and took her knife to whatever she could aim at. The severing instantly stopped and she felt something drop dead at her feet. She could hear all sorts of ugly shrill of the orcs as she downed their captain, but she could hear from behind other voices ¡V Men's voices.

Gilauriel felt the rest of the troop proceed on her, and she panicked. There was no way she could outfight them all. She could only guess that there were many. The sound of the pack was getting louder, and she could only stand in fear as they overcame her. _O Valar, protect me ¡V _

A hand took hers that was holding onto the blade, and she almost stabbed at whatever it was, but realised this hand did not belong to an orc.

'Gilauriel!' She recognised the voice to be Faramir's. 'What are you doing in these woods? They are perilous! What is worse, you are blind. You cannot take on that band of orcs alone!'

'How did I know I would attract orcs in that forest?' she demanded, feeling hurt for being called blind. 'I only took a walk to there!'

'Come here!' he said anxiously. He led her away from the battle grounds. 'Are you all right then?'

'Of course!' she replied boldly. 'Why wouldn't I?'

'Because you are lying. There is a cut on your neck.' He touched it gently.

Gilauriel pulled back. 'It's nothing. If you are done concerning for me,' she added, 'you may return to battle. I can go home myself.'

'No you will not,' the captain answered. 'Elrond had been looking for you. I had orders from him to find you, and bring you back safely home.'

'No orc will follow me from here,' she retorted. But she reluctantly gave in. She enjoyed the company of Faramir, anyway.

He held her hand and guided her back to the Last Homely House, where Elrond and his faithful son Elladan stood waiting.

'Gilauriel!' the prince cried when he saw her. 'Thank the Valar you are all right.'

She suppressed a weak smile from where the voice had come from, but ¡V

'How many times must I tell you?' Elrond asked angrily. 'You must tell either your parents or siblings where you are going if you are to leave the house! You could have been killed!'

'Ada, I am not a young child as you see in your eyes,' the blind Elf protested. 'Just because I am the youngest and most ill-fitted in the family why can you not accept the fact that I've grown and matured?' She pushed past her brother and Elrond, running up the stairs as tears flew freely in her eyes.

'Gilauriel,' Elladan said sympathetically, and rushed after her.

'I am sorry, Faramir,' Elrond said formally. 'It is a rule of mine since Gilauriel is the youngest and has been known to get lost in her own home.'

'I understand, my lord,' the captain replied quickly. 'She told me that she was blind, but I swear by the Valar that I will tell no one of this.'

'Did she?' The Elf-lord seemed impressed. 'Then I'm afraid I will have to hold you to your word. After all, I suppose it is her decision whether or not to tell others of her hidden secret. Thank you again, for looking after my daughter.' He bid Faramir farewell and returned back to the house.

'Gilauriel?' Elladan whispered, placing his hands on her shoulders as she sobbed onto her bed.

'Go away.'

'Let me see that cut by your neck so I can heal it, you would not want an infection, would you?'

'What would it matter? I will not die from it,' she retorted.

'But you also have the blood of Men within you. We can never be sure whether aging or immortality will affect you,' the prince replied gently. 'Come, little sister, show it to me.'

Gilauriel lifted her head and smiled through her tears. It was known between Elladan and her that she simply could not resist him calling her little sister so endearingly.

Elladan grinned back, and held her close to him. 'I love you, little sister.'


End file.
